Unwilted
by igniteabluestar
Summary: "You are a wilted Lily." He stated, staring into her emerald eyes. "But why? What has happened to make you so wilted, and what can be done to fix it? How can I unwilt you?" Lily is full of love for others, and has none for herself. She is a wilted flower. With the right amount of water, sunlight, magic and possibly even love, she can be fixed. James/Lily
1. To Know a Flower

**Disclaimer: The characters, most of the settings and anything else that you may recognise belongs to the amazing J.K Rowling.**

Chapter 1 - To Know a Flower

Lily stepped cautiously down the carpeted staircase, avoiding the cans of beer and pieces of sharp, broken glass. She walked ever so carefully too, not wanting to be heard. She, however, could hear a lot. Terrible noises were coming from downstairs. They were sounds that sent shivers down her pale back. These shivers had nothing to do with the temperature - for it was a warm night.

Lily reached the end of the long, defiled staircase and tiptoed down the hallway to the doorway of the small living room in which the noises appeared to be coming from. There was a faint light coming from the room, illuminating the area where she was standing.

The noises were much louder now; much clearer. They consisted of muffled screams ... a voice crying for help. There was the noise of a fist hitting a body, slaps were resounding and bouncing around the small room. A worried Lily peered around the corner, and winced at the sight.

He was drunk again. His red hair was ruffled and messy, eyes raging. His teeth were clenched. This man was in a frenzy. He stood over a girl who was on the ground, whimpering and crying. She would shriek when a fist hit her skin, or when a hand slapped across her face. Her blonde hair stuck to her sweaty face, and her pale eyes were widened in absolute terror. She was past trying to scurry away from the man, and so the girl lay on the ground propped up on an elbow, completely powerless.

Lily closed her eyes and turned from the doorway, resting upon the wall. She took several deep breaths. A line resounded in her head, something her mother had told her before she passed away.

_'Lily, you must learn to not only be yourself, but do what you believe in. Do not be like those sheep who follow the latest trends and try so hard to be people they aren't. Be yourself; be the person you want to be ... and most importantly, you must follow your beliefs and dreams. They will lead you to success...' _Her mother had told her in the hospital when Lily asked if there was any advice she ought to know. Her mother had shortly passed after that, making those words her last.

_'Petunia...'_ Lily thought. _'Mother...'_

Lily stood there, hopelessly listening to her sister Petunia crying and screaming. She also listened to the man, her father, in his crazed, drunken rage. In this moment, Lily was filled with a surge a adrenaline and bravery. It travelled up and down her body, from her bare feet to the tips of her fiery red hair. She had to protect her sister, for she was someone she loved ever so dearly, despite the fact that fought almost constantly. Lily _was _a Gryffindor, and she could most definitely not stand one more night of this abuse. She would follow her beliefs. She believed in no harm to be done to anyone, and she believed that no one should lay a finger on her fragile sister. So, she did something she wouldn't usually do, something she would never normally have the courage to execute.

Lily fearlessly stepped into the doorway, speaking in a clear voice.

"Father, stop it." She said determinedly.

Her father looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, my lovely, lovely flower." He smiled, kicking Petunia away.

Petunia used the little energy she had left to stand up and rush to where Lily was standing. Lily touched her arm nicely, and Petunia hobbled as far away as she could from her father and sister.

"Come on, pretty flower." He smiled and drunkenly stumbled over to his daughter, grabbing her and kissing her fiercely.

"It's either you, or her! Who do you choose?" Her father sang once he pulled away.

"What do you think?" Lily said weakly.

"Yoooouu!" Her father exclaimed.

The adrenaline had left Lily's body, and she was left shaking in fear and discomfort. Still, Lily did not scream or cry, nor did she make an attempt to stop her father. She would not let this man get to her. She bit her tongue and endured the pain. She let him use her; let him hurt her and infiltrate her.

After awhile, everything grew hazy. A black cloud moved into her vision, gradually blocking her sight. It was a painless world; a beautiful darkness. She welcomed it gratefully.

_'I miss you...' _Was the last thought that was consciously made inside Lily's brain.

**A/N: Hello! I have been contemplating writing a James and Lily fanfiction for a while, as I love that pairing. After a long time of writing and rewriting, this idea struck me. I'm not sure where I really want to go with this right now, as I have a few different ideas for plotlines. This is indeed a _very _short chapter, and I can promise you that the chapters to come will be much longer. This chapter is more of an introduction in a way ... yeah ... if that even makes sense ... XD. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. **

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**~igniteabluestar**


	2. The Clash

**Disclaimer: The characters, most of the settings and anything else that you may recognise belongs to the amazing J.K Rowling.**

Chapter 2 - The Clash. 

Lily stepped onto the Hogwarts express, a sense of joy overcoming her.

_'Back to Hogwarts!'_ She thought excitedly. Hogwarts wasn't just a school to everyone who attended, it was like a home away from home. It was where one would make so many friends, and where one would feel as if they were in one massive family.

Lily pulled her heavy trunk alongside her, searching for a carriage containing her best friends - Marlene and Dorcas. After a few minutes of looking, Lily heard loud laughing, obviously belonging to the Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon. They both had all too recognisable laughs. Marlene, as Lily has been told recently by owl, had hooked up over the Christmas holidays with Sirius Black. The pair both tended to not last very long in relationships, and so Lily rested assured that she wouldn't have to hang around the _incredibly _irritating Marauders for too long.

Lily smiled upon hearing the laughter again, and then walked speedily in the direction of the carriage, pulling the door open as she reached it. She was all too correct, for inside the carriage sat Dorcas, Marlene, Sirius, James and Remus. Lily heaved her trunk onto the shelf above their heads and took a seat beside Dorcas Meadowes, one of her good friends.

"Hello everyone!" Lily greeted the witches and wizards seated in the carriage.

There were a few murmured hellos.

"Hey, flower!" Sirius Black said quite loudly to Lily with a massive grin plastered on his face. Lily glared at Sirius and turned to Marlene.

"Remind me why we have to sit with these toerags? I mean, with the exception of Remus ... sometimes." Lily asked Marlene.

Marlene smiled wickedly and gave her boyfriend, Sirius Black, a kiss on the cheek.

"Reminded yet?" Marlene questioned.

Lily covered her eyes and nodded.

"Oh _yes_, It's completely _fine_. You do _not _need to do that, Marlene McKinnon." She said.

"You sure, Lily Evans?" Marlene replied with a smirk.

"I'm completely sure!" Lily said quickly, not wanting to see any more ... action.

Marlene chuckled and moved to Sirius' lap - she loved seeing Lily squirm. Lily simply rolled her eyes before averting them from the two.

"Anyway," Remus spoke up, breaking the silence that fell upon them, "How was everyone's Christmas?"

"Great!" Dorcas answered. "I finally got that set of pencils and paper that I've been wanting for ages!"

"Pencils and paper?" Sirius questioned, confused at what she meant.

"Muggles use them!" Dorcas exclaimed.

Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius, for he was so undereducated in the ways of muggles. In fact, most people in the wizarding world were.  
"What?" Sirius asked, noticing Lily's eye roll.

"Nothing!" Lily said with an evil grin.

There was a small moment of silence, and then Marlene broke it.

"What about you, James?" She asked.

James was sitting in the far corner of the carriage, looking out the window into the countryside that flashed past them.

Lily looked at the boy, realisation hitting her. He hadn't said anything all trip - she'd hardly noticed that he was there. James was quite the talkative type, and for him to be quiet ... well, it just wasn't like him at all. He was usually energetic and bubbly, but today, he seemed ever so glum. This made Lily wonder what on earth could possibly put James Potter in such a mood.

"Good." James said in a very monotone voice. His head turned a little, and his eyes met Lily's. A second passed, and Lily tore her eyes away from his. They were so grim, his eyes. They didn't have their usual ... sparkle, or gleam.

Lily shook her head and took a deep breath, returning her wall to its usual place. Not that she realised what she was doing, of course. She just thought that she was returning to her calm ways. _Defensive _ways. _Observing _ways.

"What did you get?" Dorcas asked James, attempting to keep up the dying conversation.

"Stuff..." James shrugged, not bothered to give a proper answer.

"I got a motorbike!" Sirius piped up, sensing that James didn't want the conversation on him.

Lily gaped at the grinning Sirius, momentarily forgetting James and his mood.

"Who in their right mind would give Sirius a motorbike!?" Lily said in disbelief.

"James and his pare..." Remus said quietly, trailing off.

Many eyes trailed over to the moping James by the window, making James squirm uncomfortably in his seat. Remus, upon realising his mistake, felt a wave of guilt run through him.

It was only worsened when James swiftly stood up, angrily pulled open the carriage door, and strode out, leaving the occupants of the carriage gaping after him.

Lily looked sympathetically at the open carriage door; it was obvious what was wrong. Something happened and it involved James' parents. Putting the pieces together was easy for someone like Lily, actually, it was easy for anyone who could observe situations.

"Oh, Merlin... I..." Sirius sighed exasperatedly, looking to Remus hopefully.

Remus nodded and left the carriage quietly, shutting the carriage door softly behind him.

Marlene glanced up at Sirius expectantly, but he only shook his head and moved away from her a little, obviously needing space to think about whatever had happened.

_'So Sirius and Remus know something.' _Lily thought.

Everyone was in such a glum mood today, in fact, everyone had been in a glum mood for a while - thanks to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

The rest of the journey was spent in almost silence - Lily had opened up a book and read. James and Remus didn't return at all, which only fed Lily's concern for the boy.

Lily trudged into the library and took a seat. She opened her book, _A Whimsical Feat_, and continued to read on from where she'd left off. The library was nice and quiet, and Lily poured over the book, happy to be alone. Earlier, she'd walked up to her room and saw Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon snogging. She didn't know how Sirius Black even managed to get into the girls dorm, nor did she want to. Lily had quietly set down her trunk, grabbed her book, and proceeded to walk alone to the library.

At one point, perhaps an hour after Lily had entered the library, she looked up to see a certain James Potter sitting down at a table, toying his mahogany wand in his hands. Curious as to why James Potter was in the library, she shut her book and approached the messy-haired boy.

"This is quite a peculiar place for you to be." Lily commented, leaning against the table that James was sitting at.

"Believe it or not, Evans, I do come here once in a while." James said in a dismissive tone.

"I only believe what I see." Lily flashed a smile at James.

"What do you see now?" James asked.

"I see you sitting in the library." Lily said with a small laugh.

"How has your day been, Evans?" James enquired, allowing the conversation to take a different path.

"Ugh..." Lily shuddered, " I happened to see Black and Marly in the girls dorm, _snogging._ That's when I came straight here. The library ... a perfect escape ..."

James chuckled.

"Now, I'm wondering, how on earth did he manage to get up into the girls dorm?" Lily asked wondrously.  
"Marauders secret." James winked.

"So, Potter, you seem a lot happier now than you did before. What was up?" Lily asked in a concerned voice, and sensing that the conversation was about to get serious, she took a seat across from James.

"Why would you care?" James raised an eyebrow, his defences rising.

_'Of course Lily would bring this up...' _James thought exasperatedly.

"Because I care for everyone. It's both a blessing and a curse." Lily grinned.

"You don't seem to care much, the way that you're constantly analysing all of my flaws and not looking at my good attributes." James said pointedly.

"Really, Potter? Just because I don't point out your good attributes doesn't mean that they're there. Anyway, I mean, even if you can sometimes be quite a bit of a bullying toerag, I still care for you as I do for everyone. Do you trust me when I say that I care about you?" Lily asked, her eyes full of apprehension.

"There we go again. Toerag, toerag, toerag." James rolled his eyes as he spoke. "I'm not all toerag."

Lily glared at the boy, her annoyance rising a tad, even though she felt sorry for him.

"I just said that you...," Lily sighed, "You didn't answer my question, anyway." She said, her teeth grinding together.

James ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"Sorry?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed. He'd obviously missed what she'd asked; he'd probably been focusing on something else she'd said.

"Do you trust me when I say that I care about you?" Lily repeated, trying to keep her voice in a calm manner. Fighting was not the answer, especially in a library where a librarian with a fierce, and short, temper lived.

"You're Lily Evans, the girl I fought with all first, second, third, fourth and fifth year. I don't know. It's hard to tell when I'm always being called names by you. So, when you come to me saying that you care about me, about everyone, am I supposed to believe you ... after all of those fights, arguments ..." James said with a shrug.

"We stopped fighting, though." Lily pointed out smartly.

"I don't think so - what are we doing now?" James asked with a smirk on his face.

"Having a heated discussion." Lily nodded.

"So technically, we are having an argument." James said while running his hand through his hair.

Lily sighed.

"We aren't getting anywhere here, so let's start again." Lily suggested.

James nodded, pulling a snitch from his pocket. He began to play with it, letting it go and catching it with absolute ease.

"Hello, Potter. How are you?" Lily asked in a very cool manner.

"I am good, Evans. You?" James replied.

"No you aren't. You are _not _good." Lily said, her fiery temper getting the better of her, something that she _really _shouldn't let happen.

"How would you know?" James asked, building the bricks of his own wall higher and higher.

"Oh, I don't know. You've only been wallowing around, you stomped out of the carriage, _and _you're in the library. The library is somewhere where you would never go, and somewhere that your friends would never expect you to venture into.On the train, you barely said a word. When you were asked a question, you'd answer it in a cold voice and with one word. Then, Remus said something which made you stomp from the carriage. Remus' face was full of guilt; he'd obviously said something that he didn't mean to say and he definitely regretted saying it. So Potter, what's up?" Lily said quickly, letting James know that she noticed things.

"I like my alone time." James answered carelessly.

"How is storming from the cabin at the mention of something alone time? How is answering questions coldly and with one word alone time? Tell me Potter, how is all of this alone time? Something is bothering you, and I can tell." Lily argued.

"Why are you at my throat, Evans? Could you just, for once, lay off me? I don't need your care, nor do I want to be constantly questioned. I'm just trying to get my head around things, and you're here on your high horse, ordering me to tell you things about _my _life. We've never been friends, and we've only just begun to be civil to each other. I don't understand why you're going all friend mode on me right now. I'm fine to just sit here by myself and _think. _You're just creating more stress for me, stress that isn't needed at all." James roared.

"SSh!" Lily hissed, looking over to see the quietly working librarian. "Look, Potter, I'm just trying to make something work here, because I know that you wanted to be friends. We decided to be civil, and perhaps try to be friends for the good of our own friends. I'm trying! And I care, Potter! I care about everyone. You make me out to be some horrible, heartless person. I'm not! Is that too hard for your nutshell of a brain to comprehend?" Lily snapped.

"Oh, this isn't caring. You're just being downright rude." James said icily, looking away.

"James, I can understand. If you speak to me about whatever is making you like this, I can help you. I like to help others, it makes me feel good about myself. Help me by letting me help you." Lily said in a reassuring voice.

"Don't you _dare _turn this around! You are so selfish Lily Evans! I don't even understand how you manage to get friends. You're just curious about me! You are a controlling know-it-all, and you, YOU aren't going to know a thing about me, or anything that may or may not be happening to me. So quit acting like you're the queen around here, and bring yourself down to everyone else's level. You are being a selfish, selfish girl. I hope you can see it, because one day you will lose everyone to this. You will lose everyone to this arrogance and selfishness that you have. So lose it before you lose everything else." James said angrily.

Lily's face flushed angrily, and tears stung in her eyes.

"ME?" She hissed. "ME? Oh, James Potter, you're just talking about yourself, you poor insecure boy. You walk around as if you're the king, bullying everyone in sight. You charm them, jinx them, and hurt them. Look at what you did to Severus! You spent your years trying to make him miserable. You pick on the Slytherins, even if they haven't done anything to you. _You're _the selfish one, so don't you accuse me of selfishness. You wouldn't do a thing for anyone else. You never do, you just hurt people. You're like a stem of a rose, thorny and painful. You. are. a. toerag. I'm completely done with you. I try to be kind, nice, and you push me away. You hurt me. Thank you Potter for making not only mine, but everyone's lives miserable. I hope you're happy with your accomplishments." Lily argued, pushing her chair away and standing up.

"Just _go away_, Evans. You're the one that came to me, and came here with your rudeness and insults. I didn't want any of it, and I never will. So I suggest you stay out of my life, because I am so sick of you. You bully me. You think you're protecting everyone, but you just want your chance to say horrible things to me, and make sure that everyone knows just how much of a horrible person I am. This might be news to you, Evans, but everyone actually likes me. I'm a charismatic person. Perhaps you should try thinking about others for once, then you'll finally see how it is to be liked ... wait, you won't ever be able to be nice, because you're Lily Evans. Have fun with your failure of a life." James stood up and stormed from the library.

Later that night, Remus, Sirius and Peter were sitting in their room, waiting for James.

"Padfoot, it's past midnight! We need to go find him! He could be doing, oh, who knows what. He's upset." Remus said anxiously.  
"We won't be able to find him. He has the cloak _and _the map. He'll only be found when he wants to be found. Just go to bed." Sirius said as he threw on a t-shirt and sat on his own bed.

"I'm worried." Peter said, joining in on the conversation. "I don't want him to get himself hurt."

"Whatever happens will happen, Wormy." Sirius shrugged.

"How can you not seem to care, Padfoot?" Remus said angrily.

"I do care. I know Prongs better than you guys, and I can understand what he feels right now. Let him be. He won't hurt himself in any way, apart from possibly getting himself drunk. _Just go to sleep!_" Sirius collapsed on his bed and closed the hangings, signalling the end of the conversation.

Remus looked to Peter, who shrugged, and they both got into their beds, switching out the light. James would come back when he was ready.

The next morning, Lily awoke in the library, her face against the book on the table.

"Urg," She groaned, "Another library night."

She groggily stood up, grabbing her book, and made her way up to the Gryffindor Common Room. She guessed that it was about seven-thirty, because there were a few students making their way around, most likely to breakfast.

Lily picked up her pace, finally making it to the Portrait. She muttered the password and the portrait swung open, allowing access to the common room. She ran up the stairs that led to the girls dorms and rushed into her room, where she almost ran full-force into Dorcas, who raised an eyebrow at her friend.

"Where were you last night, Lily?" Dorcas asked.

"Fell asleep in the library." Lily groaned, stepping around Dorcas.

She heard Marlene laugh.

"It's so Lily to fall asleep in the library first night back from Christmas!" Marlene cackled.  
Lily growled at her friend as she pulled on a fresh uniform before putting her hair up in a messy bun - she didn't have time to be neat.

"Ready in five minutes. Beat that, Marly." Lily called out to her friend.

"Oh Lily, 'course I can't beat that. You must never forget your makeup." Marlene said knowingly.

"Suuure." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Got to agree with Marlene on that one, Miss Lily!" Dorcas said, taking Marlene's side.

Lily wasn't one for makeup, she'd always gone on about how Marlene and Dorcas ought to appreciate natural beauty, which they had replied to with a: "Makeup is made from natural resources!"

The three girls made their way down to breakfast, Marlene babbling on about how handsome Sirius was. After about five minutes of it, Lily snapped.

"Oh be quiet, Marlene!" She said in an incredibly irritated tone.

"You're just jealous of me." Marlene replied, crossing her arms and holding her chin up.

Lily coughed. "Excuse me?" She asked in horror.

"You, Lily Evans, are totally jealous of my relationship." Marlene said in a very knowing manner.

"There is no way that I would ever even want to be near toerag number two." Lily scowled.

"Toerag number two? You need better insults, Evans." Came a voice from behind Lily.

Lily jumped slightly, and turned around.

"Morning, Black." She said stiffly.

"Morning to you too, Lily-flower." He said with a grin.

"Oh, go away. I have a short temper today." Lily said as they entered the Great Hall.

"Don't you have a short temper every day?" Sirius murmured, to which Lily ignored.

She took a seat at the Gryffindor table and put an egg on her plate. She poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice and quietly sipped it, ignoring Sirius' many irritating comments.

What a first day back from the Christmas Holidays she'd had ... and it was probably only going to get worse, knowing Lily's luck.

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading! :-)**

**~igniteabluestar **


	3. Good, Bad, Worse?

**Disclaimer: Anything that you may recognise belongs to J.K. Rowling. **

**A/N: This chapter has a lot of Lily's thinking, and a few flashbacks. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3 - Good, Bad, Worse? **

Lily sat on her bed in the Gryffindor Girls dorm, listening to her friends chatting on about the past few days. She had a book opened by her feet, and was looking down, but she wasn't reading the book. She was thinking, long and hard, about everything that was happening. Lily was thinking about her father, about the past few years, about James, and finally, about the fight that they had. She hadn't meant for it to escalate so much; she'd only wanted to help. However, Lily had realised that she hadn't gone the right way about it. She also couldn't help let what James had said get to her. Was she really a selfish person? Was she as horrible as he had said she was? His words echoed in Lily's head...

_' You are being a selfish, selfish girl. I hope you can see it, because one day you will lose everyone to this. You will lose everyone to this arrogance and selfishness that you have. So lose it before you lose everything else.' _ He had said.

Lily blinked and took a deep breath.

_'Selfish girl.' _

Lily then thought over her relationship with James Potter, putting his earlier words out of her head. Their relationship with each other as individuals had been pretty rough up until the start of year six, when Marlene seemed so set on spending more time with the Marauders. Since both Marlene and James came from pureblood families, they saw each other often and were quite good friends. Marlene liked the marauders, and so suggested that Lily, Dorcas and herself sit with them more often. This was quite difficult on Lily and James, who quite frankly couldn't stand each other. James always greeting Lily with a, "Will you go out with me?", or something similar to that, and Lily wouldn't take another word of it. After a while, their friends got incredibly fed up with all of the bickering and suggested that Lily and James ought to give acquaintanceship a go.

And so, Lily and James agreed on being polite and civil to one another for the good of their friends, and most would say the whole school. Lily looked back on that conversation that they had, rolling her eyes mentally as she remembered.

_Lily was sitting in an armchair in the Gryffindor common room when James approached her with quite an anxious look on his face. _

_Lily raised an eyebrow at the boy, and said, "What do you want, Potter?" rudely._

_"We need to talk about something." James said whilst grabbing Lily's pale wrist and tugging her out of the common room, and out of the way of any possible eavesdroppers. _

_"What is it?" Lily hissed._

_"We have to stop fighting!" James hissed back. _

_Lily's mouth opened, then closed a moment later. She was wondering what on Earth would make James say such a thing. _

_"Wait ... backtrack ... did you just say what I think you said?" Lily said in disbelief. _

_"Yes, Evans. It's getting out of hand." James said with a sigh. _

_"You are _not _being mature, right now." Lily pinched her arm. "I must be dreaming..."_

_James snorted._

_"You ... just ... Oh, Merlin!" Lily exclaimed._

_"Anyway, Evans, Marlene just stormed up to the dorm and yelled very loudly at us Marauders, telling us that something had to be done because you weren't listening to her." James explained._

_"Oh, so this wasn't your initiative." Lily said with a sigh of relief. _

_"What are you implying?" James inquired._

_"Nothing!" Lily squeaked.  
"Whatever. Back to the point. Do you agree to be civil to me, if I, in turn, agree to be civil to you?" James proposed._

_Lily nodded curtly._

_"Yes, I will be civil to you." She replied. _

_"And I will be civil to you." James held out his hand to the fiery-haired girl standing before him, to which she shook strongly with a small smile on her face. _

Lily and James had indeed agreed to be acquaintances, as being friends would really be taking it too far. From observing James, Lily had begun to notice a change in him. He'd become less joking, and much more mature. He'd made the leap from acting like a child to almost acting as an adult would rather quickly. It was almost as if something happened rather suddenly that made James mature. This was one thing that bothered Lily occasionally - for she did like to know everything. She was a very curious witch, always wanting answers for her questions.

As sixth year progressed, Lily and James became slightly closer, becoming almost friends. Many were amazed by this, and quite a few believed that it wouldn't last long. James actually assisted Lily with some of her Transfiguration homework, something that she always found difficult, and in turn, she helped him with any homework he needed help with. This didn't happen often, as James was very good with his homework. It surprised Lily that he managed to get all of his homework done to a good standard. They were often found in the common room sitting on separate sides of an armchair, casually chatting. It was really a miracle, many thought. Perhaps the Gryffindor Common Room was peaceful once and for all.

All of this changed, however, when Lily and James had a massive blow-up at each other just before the Christmas Holidays. It was a painful memory for Lily to relieve.

_Lily looked up at her boyfriend of the time, Aidan. She touched his golden brown hair with her hand, playing with it._

_Aidan bent down to Lily, planting a kiss on her lips. Lily pulled him closer, kissing him back. She continued to lightly play with his hair. Lily pulled away, smiling dreamily at Aidan. _

_"Oh, Aidan..." She sighed._

_"Lily, I love you." Aidan said sweetly, giving Lily a small peck on the forehead.  
"You _what_!" James Potter yelled as he approached the couple.  
"James-" Lily said warningly.  
James pushed Aidan aside and looked down on Lily.  
"_YOU. _You led me on, made me think you liked me! And then you two go and profess your bloody love for each other in plain sight, in the middle of the common room! Honestly, Evans, do you understand what you're doing to me!?" James yelled. _

_"James! You knew I had a boyfriend!" Lily cried._

_"An unfaithful boyfriend!" James roared._

_"I am n-" Aidan began._

_"Excuse me, James? You just want to break us up!" Lily shouted angrily._

_"I do not! I saw him earlier today with Hestia! That's what I was coming in here to tell you about ... and then I see you snogging him as I walk in? He's a bloody wanker, break up with him!" James explain angrily. _

_"No, Potter. You're lying. STAY OUT OF MY RELATIONSHIPS!" Lily hollered, pushing James in the chest and storming out of the common room in absolute rage. _

James, however, turned out to be right. Lily herself caught the pair snogging a few weeks after. James and Lily had already had another fight before that however, about Lily not trusting James. They'd avoided each other until after Christmas when, well, they'd managed to have yet another argument. Lily had come to the conclusion that they really shouldn't interact with each other at all. She also believed that they shouldn't be friends ever, _ever _again. Ever.

Lily groaned as she woke up, her body very sore. Someone was shaking her gently on the shoulder.

"Lily?" A voice asked.  
Lily groaned again.

"Yeah..?" She answered in a sleep filled voice, looking up at the person who had shaken her awake.

"Remus?" She inquired, sitting up.

"I thought I ought to wake you up - you looked so uncomfortable that it pained me." Remus said in a polite voice.

Lily let out a small laugh, "Thanks, Remus."

"I also need to talk to you." Remus said seriously.

"Oh..." Lily said, running a hand through her hair subconsciously.

"Can you, perhaps, leave Pr- James alone?" Remus asked, his tone of voice non-accusatory.  
"I- oh, Remus." Lily said exasperatedly.

"Yes, Lily?" Remus replied.  
"I don't know why I even spoke to him" She said with a shake of her head.

Remus gazed into Lily's emerald green eyes.  
"I-" He said, "Lily, please can you promise me that you'll ... y'know, stay away from him?"

"Remus, I promise I won't interact with Potter. I don't even _want_ to, anyway." She smiled. "I ought to be off again - Dorcas and Marlene will be in fits of laughter if they find out that I had another library night!" She said as she hurried out of the library.

Lily walked silently through the deserted corridors, taking the long way back to the common room from the library. She was in thinking mode, and so thought that it was a good idea to be by herself for a while, since that the library wasn't always deserted. A choked sob interrupted her thinking, and Lily looked around to see where it came from. Not seeing anyone, she continued on her way. Once she turned the corner, she saw a boy sitting on the ground, his arms around his knees and his head facing downwards into his lap.

"P-Potter?" Lily stuttered, sinking to the floor beside the boy. She cursed herself, remembering her promise to Remus, and herself.

James lifted his head a little, looking at Lily. His eyes were so, _so_ sad, and _so red._ His cheeks were stained with tear streaks, and Lily could see teardrops dripping from his eyes and off his chin ever so slowly and painfully.

James rested his head down again, trying the put a halt to the ongoing stream of water from his eyes.  
Lily didn't know what to do; she'd never imagined that she'd see James in such a vulnerable state. Lily simply wrapped her arms around James, rubbing him slightly on the back, which was something she'd always found comforting.

"Lily..." James sobbed.

Lily looked at the boy with sad eyes, "Yes?" She replied.

"I'm so," James choked, "so sorry..."  
"Oh, James..." Lily whispered.

James sobbed more, turning into Lily and crying into her robes. Lily ran her hand through his dark hair, wondering what could get James in such a state.

"My father..." James weeped.

Lily felt tears come to her own eyes, feeling so empathetic towards the boy. She tightened her grasp around him, laying her head on his.

"M-my ... f-father." James stammered, sitting up and wiping tears from his eyes.

"Tell me about it," Lily stood up, "As we go back to the common room, it's past curfew."

"No, I - I didn't, should've thought ... this -" James pulled a cloak from his pocket and flung it over the two of them.

"Invisibility cloak." James explained.

"Ok, just, oh, Potter, tell me.

"He, oh Lily, he's ... I can't. He - he's gone..." James said in a choked voice.

"It'll be alright." Lily said, knowing all very well of the unoriginality of the line.

"No, It - can we talk about something else?" James asked.

"No." Lily said firmly. "Don't hold it in."

"I can't!" James cried.

"Merlin, of course you can. Don't make the wrong decisions like I did. Don't bottle it up. At least talk to Sirius, or Remus, or Peter, or Marlene, or someone! Don't cause yourself to be in so much more pain." Lily said carefully.

"No, not those people." James shook his head, before looking at Lily curiously. "Wait, like you?"

Lily gave James a small smile. "Yeah, last year. My mother." Lily said with a shrug.

"Are you okay, now?" James asked.  
"It takes a while, but you'll eventually get past the grieving stage. James, I'm still grieving my mother. It's only been about a year and a half. I've just accepted it, and I'm living my life for her." Lily said gently to James.

James nodded.

"What happened?" Lily asked.

"Dragonpox. My mother got it, too, but she's recovered. They healers say that there's a high chance of it coming back, though, and that if it does, it will probably kill her..." James said, gasping for breath.

He collapsed into Lily's lap, breathing heavily.

"I can't do this, Lily! I'm - I'm so, so sorry." He whimpered.

"Look - I'll get you to Bl- Sirius, okay?" Lily said, not knowing what else to do.

"No, I-" James sniffed, "I can't. Not him."

"Why not?"  
"Just can't." James moved off Lily, standing up. "Lily, I shouldn't be. I'm strong!" He yelled.

"Yes, you are, James. But, all of the strong people are allowed to cry. They're allowed to grieve. You're allowed to be upset, James."

Lily brushed her fingers over James' face before moving to hold his hand. She stood up beside him.  
"Should we go to the common room?" Lily asked.

James nodded, wiping his eyes.

They walked along for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I want my dad, Lils." James said quietly, disrupting the silence.  
"I know ... oh, Merlin, I know how it feels." Lily stuttered.

At that point, Lily and James reached the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, and Lily muttered the password. The portrait swung forward and the pair walked in, collapsing on an armchair.

"James, perhaps you should sleep." Lily whispered.  
"The dreams..." James said in a pained voice.  
"It'll get better." Lily stood up and headed towards the girls dorms. "Goodnight."

I'm sorry about the other night, Lily. I didn't mean anything I said; I was very ... infuriated." James said, hoping Lily could hear him.

Lily turned around and gave James a smile.

"I'm still angry at you for that ... but I'm sorry for all of the bad things I said, too." Lily said with a nervous chuckle, then turned away and went up the stairs, pondering the situation she had just found herself in.

Lily crumpled on her bed, fully robed.

She wasn't sure of what to think. She'd have to be friends with him now. She'd comforted him, he'd spilt a secret to her. They'd formed a bond. _Why? _What would Remus say? She'd broken his promise. She couldn't ignore James. She liked him - his personality. He was loyal. He would make a good friend. Not to her, though. No. She'd tried that. It failed. They fought. It didn't work! Then why, how did that just happen?

No, Lily couldn't ignore James after what had just happened. He'd feel bad, even worse.

Lily couldn't break her promise to Remus even further. She'd stay away from him. She wouldn't _ignore _him, per say. She'd just ... make it impossible for him to speak to her.

Lily Evans could not _ever _be friends with James Potter.

**A/N: Oh, I feel terrible. I've taken **_**so long **_**to post this chapter! Sorry! I will be quicker with my posting. I'm trying to build up chapters so I'm at least a chapter ahead. **

**Anyway, tune in next chapter for someone's birthday!**

**~igniteabluestar**


	4. A Splattering of Events

**Disclaimer: Anything that you may recognise belongs to J.K. Rowling. **

**Chapter 4 - A Splattering of Events**

Lily braced herself as she stepped into the Gryffindor common room. She looked down as she said the password, clutching her books tightly to her chest. A party was something she most definitely didn't feel like. She really wasn't the one to stay up late and party. School work and grades were much more important that silly things like that. She didn't have time for a party tonight, for she had two essays awaiting her.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVANS!" Many voices shouted as Lily entered the common room.

Marlene skipped up to Lily, grinning.

"Come on, let's go open your presents, Lily!" Marlene said joyfully.

"Do I _have _to?" Lily groaned, rubbing her eyes.

"Yes." Marlene said strongly, gripping tightly onto Lily's arm and pulling her over to the pile of presents in the corner of the common room.  
"Merlin, you guys didn't really have to get me this." Lily said, eyes glazing over the pile of presents before her. With an exhausted sigh, Lily sat down and picked up a medium sized package wrapped in plain crimson red paper. She tore the card from the front and opened it up, reading it. It read:

_'Dearest Lily,_

_I do hope you enjoy the party, I know partying isn't your thing. Anyway, you're seventeen now! Happy seventeenth!_

_Love,_

_Mary'_

Lily looked into the crowed and spotted Mary, giving her a small smile. Lily then proceeded to open the present, revealing a packet of quills.

"Thank you very much Mary." Lily said appreciatively to Mary.

The further Lily got into opening her presents, the more the crowd diminished. By the time she was down to one present, only her close friends, Marlene and Dorcas, were left.

Lily looked down at the two presents, and decidedly chose an emerald green box. Curiously, she lifted the lid of the box, which contained a black leather journal. Lily took the journal from the box, turning it in her hands. Too tired, Lily placed the journal back in the box and stood up, levitating her pile of presents.  
"Thank you all, but I really must get to bed." Lily said, faking a yawn.

She began walking in the direction of the girls dormitory, when she felt a hand tugging arm. Lily turned, finding herself face to face with Marlene.

"I'll get those for you." Marlene grinned.

Lily watched as her presents flew up the staircase.

"I'm going to bed, now. Good night." Lily said, pulling herself away from Marlene.

"Oh, nononononono, you are not." Marlene caught Lily's arm once more.

"Please, Marlene. I don't feel like this. I'm tired, and feel sick." Lily said with a yawn.

"You are such a bad liar, Lily." Marlene rolled her eyes and guided Lily over to a group sitting in the middle of the common room.

A few hours later, Lily was awoken.  
"I want Siri-pie!" Marlene wailed. Lily looked up at Dorcas and Mary, who where on Marlene's either side, supporting her.  
Lily groaned.  
"Just put her to bed. She'll pass out soon." Lily said, closing her eyes.  
"Wait, Lily. We were supposed to give you this." Dorcas held out a wrapped square package.  
"Thanks, Dorcas." Lily smiled tiredly.  
She carefully opened the package. Inside, she found a black leather lined notebook and a pen. Lily found this curious, for the normal person would use a quill and ink. I was indeed odd. Lily decided to think more about this in the morning, and so put the notebook underneath her pillow and found herself in the land of dreams once more.

-

"LILY! LILY IT'S SNOWING!" Marlene yelled excitedly a few mornings later.  
Lily groaned and opened her eyes.  
"And?" She asked. "I value my sleep. Go away."  
"But Lily!" Marlene whined.  
"Fine." Lily huffed, getting up and pulling some comfortable warm clothes on.  
She joined Marlene, Dorcas and a few of her other roommates at the window.  
"Wow," Lily said sarcastically,"I have most definitely never seen anything like this before!"  
"Loosen up, Lils." Marlene said joyfully.  
Lily rolled her eyes, watching the snow swirling around, gracefully falling down. She did like the snow. She liked winter. It was her favourite season. She wasn't too fond of the heat; she was prone to getting burnt.  
Lily simply didn't like showing some emotions sometimes, it was as simple as that.  
"Lily, let's go have a snowball fight!" Marlene said happily.  
Lily half-smiled.  
"Sure, Marly. I know I can't get out of it, anyway." Lily said.  
Marlene jumped excitedly, clapping her hands together.  
The pair rushed down to the school grounds, each grabbing handfuls of snow and throwing them at each other.  
"OI EVANS!" A voice yelled.  
Lily turned to see the marauders heading their way.  
Lily smiled mischievously and picked up a wad of snow, rolling it into a ball. She shot it at James head, happy when it hit him smack in the face.  
"Oh, Evans. It is on." James grinned, waving his wand and making round upon round of snow fly at her.  
"POTTER!" Lily screamed. "No magic!"  
James shrugged, "Nah, we're at a school of magic."  
Lily glared at the boy.  
"Fine. Have it your way." She grinned.  
Lily muttered a spell, waving her wand at the snow.  
A big wall of snow lifted in front of her, a fort building itself. Lily stood at the top of it, allowing many snowballs to fly at James, pegging him down.  
James released himself, running at the fort. Once inside, he lit a fire, melting the snow. He summoned his broomstick, quickly hopping on. He flew over to Lily, diving and scooping her onto his broomstick.  
Lily shrieked, holding onto James for dear life.  
"POTTER!" She yelled, eyes wide with fear.  
"What? I saved you." James said with a smirk on his face.  
"Let me down." Lily said angrily.  
James rolled his eyes and landed near Marlene and Sirius, who were having a snowball fight against Peter and Remus. Unlike James and Lily, they were fighting muggle style.  
"You toerag." Lily uttered angrily.  
"Sorry, Evans? Didn't hear you." James asked smartly.  
"You. TOERAG. What were you thinking, putting me on a bloody broomstick?!" Lily shouted.  
"Well, I was thinking: Hey, I'll put Evans on a broomstick and save her life!" James said, running a hand through his hair.

"I _hate _you, Potter." Lily spat as she strode into the castle.

Lily stomped all the way up to the girls dormitory which was, unsurprisingly, empty. She took a seat on her comfortable bed. She put her hand down near her pillow and felt something. Leather. Lily pulled the thing from under her pillow, remembering the present that she'd put under her bed previously. She examined it, opening it up.

Inside it read: _'This is a scrapbook. It records happy moments, sad moments, moments to remember. Keep it on you and at the end of the year, it will be finished. It will be full of pictures. You may add little trinkets for memories, such as, tickets, notes, important papers, letters, or anything relatively flat! Also, remember to caption the pictures and write entries. Happy scrapbooking!'_

Lily smiled, thinking, _'What clever magic.'_

She slipped it in her carry bag, making a note to make sure that she kept it with her at all times.

Marlene, Dorcas and Lily all sat together in a secluded part of the castle.

"I need your help." Marlene stated matter-of-factly.

"What is it?" Dorcas asked.

"Sirius." Marlene huffed.

"Oh no, what's he done?" Lily groaned.

"He's still upset. He hasn't been happy since the Christmas holidays. He must have had a terrible Christmas." Marlene sighed.

"James, too." Dorcas added.

Lily bit her lip, knowing that she really shouldn't reveal anything.

"Per-perhaps you should just ... hug him?" Lily suggested.

"It's not that simple, Lily." Marlene rolled her eyes.

"He won't talk to you?" Dorcas questioned.

"Not about that. You know, what's wrong? When I ask, the subject is immediately changed. I'm worried." Marlene said, an anxious look on her pretty face.

Dorcas gave Marlene a small pat on the back.

"Do you want me to speak with him?" Lily offered.

"Lily, to be honest, he won't speak to you about it if he doesn't speak to me." Marlene dead-panned.

"No, but if I just lecture him. Tell him that you're worried." Lily explained.

"He'll cut you off before you can say anything." Marlene said knowingly.

"Perhaps an anonymous letter?" Dorcas suggested.

"Maybe." Marlene nodded.  
"Marley, do you love him?" Lily asked, out of the blue.

"Yes, why?" Marlene answered without delay.

"Does he? I mean, does he love you?" Lily enquired.

"I- he's said so." Marlene nodded slowly.

"Then it'll work out. Whatever you do." Lily smiled, touching Marlene's hand.

"Thanks Lily." Marlene smiled too.

"Right!" Dorcas spoke up after a moments silence. "The letter? The confrontation? Both?"

"Both!" Lily answered.

"Are you sure...?" Marlene looked at Lily, who nodded quickly, "Alright. Both."

The girls began planning on their new project, eager to give Marlene a helping hand.

"So does this letter sound good?" Dorcas asked, finishing her first draft.

"Let's hear it." Lily said encouragingly.

"Ok. Here it is:

_Sirius,_

_It has come to our attention that you are not opening up to a certain girlfriend of yours. Y'know, your only girlfriend, whom you love very much (you'd better, Black.). Now, let us tell you something. Something about healthy relationship. Relationships work with certain amounts of trust. A relationship with no trust is like a Marauder and a Slytherin. And what does a Marauder and a Slytherin do? Marauders and Slytherins _hurt _each other, Black. Is that the type of relationship that you want?_

_Open up to her. _

_Stop hurting her._

_Love,_

_A few people that are able (and willing) to kick your arse._

_P.S - Have a good day._

Sound good?" Dorcas read, quite happy with her work.

"Quite compelling." Lily said in appreciation.

"I don't know ... isn't that a bit mean?" Marlene said unsurely.

"Marlene, it's convincing. If this doesn't work then I don't know what will." Lily shrugged. 

"Alright..." Marlene said, still unsure.

The next morning Marlene, Dorcas and Lily hurried down to breakfast, eager to see Sirius open the letter.

When they entered the hall they noticed that three Marauders were already present, sitting down and scoffing down food.

The girls sat in clear view of Sirius, Peter and James, awaiting the morning post to arrive. They got themselves a plate of food each and waited.

"How do you think he'll react?" Dorcas whispered.  
"He'll stay cool and composed." Lily said.

"Nah, he'll show emotion whilst reading, and James will notice. Then, he'll pretend it was nothing, shove the letter in his pocket, and shove the rest of his breakfast down his throat." Marlene whispered.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I agree with Marlene, sorry Lily!" Dorcas grinned.

"Oh, please. I just didn't go into as much detail as Marlene." Lily with a flick of her hair.

The three laughed loudly, drawing attention.

"Marlene!" Sirius said, jumping up from his seat excitedly, "I didn't notice you there!"

"Hi, Sirius." Marlene smiled dreamily at the boy, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"How was your sleep?" Sirius inquired.  
"Rather well, you?" Marlene replied.

"Terrible. I'm tired. I have a headache." Sirius pouted.

"I bet you were up all night drinking." Lily butted in.

"Excuse me, I was not. I just couldn't sleep. Happens to everyone." Sirius said knowingly.

"Sure, Black. Whatever you say." Lily drawled.

"W-" Sirius began, but was interrupted by Marlene.

"POST!" Marlene bellowed.

Sirius looked confusedly at Marlene, who was biting her lip.

"I was expecting a letter." Marlene lied.

Sirius nodded, not catching the lie.

"Wellio, I'd better get back to Prongs and Wormy! See you later!" Sirius saluted the girls as he returned to his mates.

"Ok girls, this is it!" Dorcas hissed to her friends.

A brown owl swooped down, dropping a letter in Sirius' lap. The three girls watched intently as Sirius opened the letter, reading it. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern. Once he'd finished reading, he folded the letter neatly and shoved it in his pocket.

"What's the letter, Pads?" James asked.

Sirius mouthed something that the girls didn't catch the James, and walked seriously over to Marlene.

"Talk. Now." Sirius said seriously, grabbing Marlene's hand and swiftly pulling her from the hall.

"Do you think it worked?" Lily asked Dorcas nervously.

"We'll just have to wait and see." Dorcas said hopefully.

"So he took me up to his dorm and told me that he knew that it was us sending the note. He wasn't happy at all. He told me that I needed to stay out of his business! He said that we probably shouldn't be together anyway!" Marlene was sobbing as she explained what happened. Lily had her arms wrapped around the girl, and Dorcas was rubbing her back.

Lily stood up.

"He is _so _unreasonable. I'll be right back." She said angrily, stomping down the stairs before either of her friends could stop her. She saw Sirius laughing in the corner with his friends, and approached them.

"Sirius Black, right now, I am angrier at you than I am with James." Lily hissed.

James raised an eyebrow at Lily, oblivious to what had happened with Sirius and Marlene.

"So if you don't come upstairs and talk to me right now, I will yell at you in the middle of the common room, where everyone will hear about how much of a right _git _you are, and no one will want to date you ever again." Lily said through clenched teeth.

Sirius stood up, walking up the staircase to the boys dorm.

"What did he do?" James asked Lily incredulously.

"He's being an arse to Marlene." Lily said to James as she stomped away, following Sirius.

Once she was seated nicely on someone's bed, facing Sirius who was on another, Lily took a deep breath, ready to speak.  
"Sirius Black, what's wrong with you right now?" Lily asked softly.

"You already know." Sirius said quietly.  
"I might know, but Marlene doesn't. She's so worried. She hasn't stopped stressing about you since we got back to Hogwarts, two months ago! Please just talk with her. Tell her something. She deserves to know. She _loves _you." Lily said quietly, almost pleading with Sirius.

"Ok, Lily. I'll- I'll try." Sirius smiled half-heartedly. "But I have something to talk with you about, too."

"Hit me." Lily said.

"Well - wait ... what? Hit you?" Sirius asked, confused.

"An expression, continue." Lily urged.

"Right, Lily. James. Prongs. He told me that you guys talked about, well, y'know. Merlin, you've pretty much been avoiding him. Either that, or being completely rude to him. Don't you understand what you're doing to the poor bloke?" Sirius asked.

"Black, you _know _what happens when Potter and I are near each other. Hell breaks loose. It's stressful, right? I'm trying to avoid the fights." Lily said in a perfectly calm manner.

"Well if you were to _hook up_..." Sirius winked.

Lily grabbed the pillow from the bed she was sitting on and chucked it at the boys face.

"Don't you dare even _suggest _that." Lily hissed.

Sirius coughed, trying to hide a laugh.

"Anyway, flower, please can you talk to him nicely more often. He's a right pain in the arse when you've hurt him. I'm sick of all of his _whining_." Sirius groaned.  
"I might consider it." Lily stood up, readying herself to leave.

"I might consider speaking to Marlene." Sirius said.

"No, you _will _speak to Marlene." Lily said, slightly irritated.

"And you _will_ speak to Prongs." Sirius said, smirking.

"Fine." Lily caved, holding out a hand.

Sirius shook it, a grin on his face.

"Oh, James shall be euphoric." Sirius sang.

Lily sighed and walked over to the door, opening it to see James Potter and Peter Pettigrew standing there.

"You were eavesdropping." Lily narrowed her eyes at the pair.

"No, Lily, we were just coming up to see if Sirius was alive. You're quite ... scary when you're angry." Peter explained.

Lily snorted a laugh.

"Scary?" She chortled.

"Nah, her temper's attractive." James said.

Lily smacked James on the shoulder as she went down the staircase.

"You mean, she sat on my bed and touched my pillow!?" Lily could hear James say.  
"Yeah, but she didn't kn-" Sirius began.

"I am never washing these covers again..." James sighed.

"Mate, you never wash them anyway, the house elves do." Sirius said.

Lily laughed as she heard the boys converse, then continued on her way up to the common room, where she met with Marlene and Dorcas.

"How'd it go?" Dorcas asked.

"You'll see!" Lily winked.

**A/N: Well, I hope this chapter is ok! Please review! **

**Thanks for reading,**

**~igniteabluestar **


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